Open Your Eyes

Did the 40 thousand mean anything to you? Did you even consider it? I knew I was standing in thin ice. I knew that things could completely fall through. I worked, I slaved, I studied, I learned, I saw that there could be a light at the end of this dark tunnel. But you didn’t follow through for me. Was it wrong to dream such a grand dream? Is it completely ridiculous to pursue the future I want? I carried my ass through high school, through your torture, just to end up back where I started? Maybe I wasn’t meant to go that far. Maybe the pieces of this puzzle don’t make the picture I expected. Maybe I wasn’t meant to fly that high. Of course I wasn’t enough. Were my dreams not worth it for you? 

But what can I do? I am powerless, poor, broken. Is this another mask that I put over my face? Protect my mind and heart, my body can take the pain. I wasn’t meant for this. I built my life on top of another lie, again. But living in this freedom was amazing. I played with my social side. Maybe this is enough for me. I’ve tasted life on this side of college and it’s great. But maybe that’s not who I am. It’s only been one semester. There’s still time to change. 

I should be more critical about my future. I don’t want to be owned by another person. I don’t want to have negative value. My parents and I worked hard and got this far. I shouldn’t risk it over something like this, after all, I’m not a businessman. I’m bound to fail. 

It’s too late. You didn’t do enough earlier on and now it’s time to face the consequences. You had your chance. You had many chances, but you threw it away for money. It’s all about money, isn’t it? Your life is run on money, yet you spend it like it was nothing. And now, you have none left. Look at yourself, are you proud of it? How much are you worth? Not enough. Never enough. You want more, don’t you? Your greed will ruin you and ruin your relationship with everyone you know. 

Do now and regret later? Now you regret it all. You can’t support others. You can’t even support yourself. You call yourself a man? You are weak. You know absolutely nothing. You shouldn’t have come here.